I wanted to go East! I thought that only there I would find what I was looking for. But life brought me to the West and so, without even realizing it, I found answers to questions I didn't yet know I had. Today I am sitting in front of the computer in a silent race trying to finish the 2019’s sessions so I can deliver them by Christmas. And while I'm making myself another cup of tea (It gets really cold when you have to stay still in front of the computer), I'm thinking back to the days spent along the coast of North-West Canada and the United States. Just over two weeks ago I was standing with my feet in the Pacific Ocean’s icy waters watching the sunset and the seagulls hunting for crabs. And I'm thinking about how life takes you exactly where you need to be! I'll tell you a little secret about me: I’m not a morning person! This means that I often don't get to see the sun rising. But the sunset ... ohhhh, the sunset fills my heart! And to be honest, the Coast overwhelmed me with breathtaking sunsets. Every evening, or almost, I witnessed the moment when the sun plunges into the ocean in an explosion of a thousand shades of red. For a second that seemed an eternity, I held my breath and so did the earth. For one second a heavy silence covered the beach, the waves, the seagulls and the people. When you're get used to the seas like the Mediterranean, with its artificial shoreline where you can walk tens of meters before getting your knees wet, the wild strength of the ocean is overwhelming. Its endless waves can take you far away. I remember watching the waves come and go and I had to make an enormous effort to keep myself from being sucked by them. I have never experienced such strength and sensation. Go ahead and don’t look back except maybe for a brief moment, just so you don’t forget where you’ve started.

They say that we can understand our mothers only when we become mothers. I'm not so sure this saying is completely true. Some time ago I read the book "Una madre lo sa" by Concita De Gregorio, in which, among other things, she tells the different types of mother. "The others decide what a "good mother" is. The choir. Those who always know what is to be done and what is not. What is right, wise, useful. Those who say "it is nature, so it must be": you must be patient, follow the rhythms, feel tenderness, dedicate yourself. If you feel yourself sinking, it's because you are inadequate. If the children do not come, you must resign: do not persevere, do not insist. They say you were not made to be a mother. If you didn't want them there must be something wrong with you. If you don't have anyone who wants to have kid with you, it's because you didn't find him, you were too demanding, maybe too anxious. How can you want kids if you prefer working. If you get tired you're depressed, if it drives you crazy you're a monster … A bad mother. " Luckily the life, the real one, comes to our aid by finding a place for all things. The stories I read in "A Mother Knows It" speak of these real, real lives and how many different ways there are to be a mother or, why not, not to be a mother. Of how many shadows the perfect love is full, that love between mothers and children, and how many unexpected resources. How many roads exist to welcome what comes, what is there. Receiving "permission" to feel like a mother even though I have never given birth has given me a strength and an energy that still sweeps me away. The fact that I never gave birth cannot stop me from understanding a mother's joy at hearing her son's first word, understanding the anxiety and pain they feel when their children are in pain or crying. Of course, maybe the echo of those feelings will never be as intense as those of a mother, but I will always be able to hear them, the feelings like shock waves are coming to me strong and clear. To this regard, a few days ago I was talking to a "tummy mother" (those that carried and gave birth) who told me how a few years ago, when I was at the beginning of this activity as a family documentary photographer, she had many reservations if not skepticism about my ability to reflect in photography all that range of feelings that "only" mothers feel. But she confessed to me that seeing my photos she had to change her mind because today she can see and feel in my images that affection and those genuine emotions that "real" mothers feel. This was one of the best compliments I have ever received since I started my family documentary photography business because it's one thing to have the conviction of being able to empathize with the families you are photographing, but it's so much better when this empathy it's recognized by others.

I'll be honest, it's been almost a week since the end of the Fearless Conference and I still can't put into words the flood of feelings and emotions that overwhelmed me during this conference. It may be because I'm not good at words at all, it might be because I haven't managed to just sit in peace and think. However, what I know is that inside, deep within my soul, I have felt and still feel the power of this encounter. I believe that basically we can be good . I'm saying we can and not that we must be good. Fearless Conference is proof that it is not utopia, but something easily accessible. Seeing that organizers and speakers have worked to make good bodes well for a return to a certain kind of humanity. The organizers donated all the conference revenues (over $ 20,000) to charity. And the speakers? Apart from speaking free of charge, without a real compensation, they were able to leave their ego aside and share everything about themselves. PERHAPS WHAT THIS WORLD NEEDS TODAY IS NOT JUST CELEBRATING SUCCESS, BUT CELEBRATE AND SHOW THE FAILURES, THE ERRORS THAT ARE MADE BEFORE YOU REACH SUCCESS. This is how Rebecca Kiger touched my soul with her humanity, the genuineness and quality of her personal projects. Niki Boon told me the story of her 4 children who learn to live in the best possible way: playing, experimenting, falling and getting up again. Like Lyndah , Jacki , Melissa , Rich , Benjamin , Pedro , Philippe , Ufuk and Pedro , all great professionals who knew how to leave aside their introverted character to talk about themselves to 250 colleagues. And then Kirsten, the wonderful Kirsten , who ever since I've meet her has never given up giving. Her honesty, her total dedication, her ability to be completely vulnerable and find her strength in this. Non the less, being able to embrace so many of my photographer friends and above all make new friends . Because after all, we are social animals. And we need to feel that we are part of a community. A community that welcomes you, that understands you, that does not judge you but supports you. The Fearless Community is just like that. A tribe of photographers that keeps your feet on the ground while helping you fly higher.

Photographer Life Archivi - Lavinia Nitu photographer

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Photographer Life

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Photographer Life

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